<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Saying \u201cyes\u201d is simple, and likely to be rewarding. We all share 6 basic human needs (certainty, variety, significance, connection, growth and contribution), and saying \u201cyes\u201d is likely to satisfy most, if not all, of them. Thus, it can become addictive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
By saying \u201cyes\u201d, we obtain a sense of certainty, e.g., we know \u201cit\u201d will be done properly, because we are going to do it ourselves. It can also bring variety \u2013 saying \u201cyes\u201d to new things can be exciting. Our desire to feel a sense of significance, connection, growth and contribution is highly satisfied when we agree to do things for others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Further, our sense of self as a kind, giving, generous and useful person is also likely to be reaffirmed when we say \u201cyes\u201d. With all of this reinforcement for our \u201cyes\u201d habit, there\u2019s no surprise that many of us say \u201cyes\u201d more than we intend to!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, saying \u201cyes\u201d can also lead to feelings of overwhelm, stress, dissatisfaction and resentment. I would even dare to say there is an epidemic of people who feel chronically over-committed and desperate to reduce the number of things on their never-ending and ever-growing \u201cto do\u201d list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you have found yourself feeling that sense of overwhelm, you may have reached the conclusion that you need to be more strategic. This begs the question \u2013 what does \u201cbeing strategic\u201d actually mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Michael Porter, a respected academic who has written extensively about business strategy and competition (among several other topics), suggests that \u201cThe essence of strategy is choosing what not to do.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n When I came across this definition, I found myself nodding vigorously. He is absolutely right. The use of a strategic \u201cno\u201d can not only liberate you from doing something you don\u2019t want to do, it also frees you up to say \u201cyes\u201d to something more important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Deciding what to say \u201cno\u201d to can seem daunting, especially if you are a seasoned \u201cyesser\u201d. One helpful approach is to identify your top 5 values, which then become your points of reference when faced with a request. Having clarity about your priorities will make it simple to evaluate each request on their merits and make your decision based on what is in alignment with your priorities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Often, we say \u201cyes\u201d out of fear. We are afraid that if we don\u2019t say \u201cyes\u201d we may experience rejection, or judgement, or disappointment, or we might miss out on something. However, when we say \u201cno\u201d for the right reasons, those undesirable outcomes become (a) less likely; and (b) less impactful, because we enjoy the certainty that come from making choices that align with our highest priorities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In my personal quest to attain the elusive \u201cwork life balance\u201d (I\u2019ll be sure to let you know when I find it), I have developed an aspiration to: \u201cSay yes when I mean yes, and no when I mean no.<\/em>\u201d My \u201cyes\u201d habit is stubborn and difficult to break, which makes this aspiration surprisingly difficult. However, it is extremely powerful when I get it right. And now that I\u2019m getting better at saying \u201cno\u201d, I\u2019m working on doing so without offering to do something else instead!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Saying \u201cyes\u201d is simple, and likely to be rewarding. We all share 6 basic human needs (certainty, variety, significance, connection, growth and contribution), and saying \u201cyes\u201d is likely to satisfy most, if not all, of them. Thus, it can become addictive. By saying \u201cyes\u201d, we obtain a sense of certainty, e.g., we know \u201cit\u201d will…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1718,"featured_media":1118,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n